Today I will bury my daughter so do me a favour

My inspiring wife carried our daughter Grace for 9 months and upon her death still had to deliver her into this world with sweat and pain. In a vague attempt to bring some symmetry to our experience I with the help of my brother dug her grave yesterday.

Although I can in no way approximate my wife's experience I needed to sweat, I needed to ache. And in the same way, while I can never come near to the experience of carrying and nurturing my child in the same way as Siobhan did, I will carry her on my own down the aisle today in her white willow basket.
I have 2 favours to ask of you.

Thanks and My Warrior Wife

On Saturday  the 3rd May Siobhan and I slept in the hospital with our beautiful daughter in a cot by our side. We wanted a night where we could have an echo in our hearts of what it would have been like to have her in our home.

On Sunday we came home and on Monday posted our terrible news.

On Monday our house was full of friends and family, we talked, laughed, joked and cried together and our spirits were buoyed amidst the turmoil in our souls.

On Tuesday Morning we sat in bed and read over 300 of your comments. We were overwhelmed and humbled. We cannot express how much this outpouring of sympathy and love has lifted us and carried us forward, how much it has given us light in the dark journey we now find ourselves on, and continues to do so. I wish we could reply to you all.

My warrior wife is now trying to express milk that has nowhere to go in order to help the lives of premature and sick babies whose mothers are unable to provide them with sufficient breast milk of their own. If you know of anyone that you think would consider donating then please send them to this page http://www.ukamb.org/

Once again, I will say the words which cannot adequately express what you all have done for us - Thank You

Beautiful Dreamer

Our darling daughter Grace Dinah Monteith came into the world at ten minutes past midnight on the 3rd of May weighing 9lb 2oz (4.1 kilos). Unfortunately due to an incredibly rare accident in the womb she was already with the angels. She had died on the Friday morning. But she is beautiful and she is perfect. She is our beautiful dreamer and we miss her.

When she was born it became clear that when the waters broke some of the membranes of the amniotic sac had wound themselves around the umbilical cord, unfortunately cutting off her blood supply. This phenomenon is known as amniotic banding. It affects 1 in 1200 births but the fatal way in which it affected us is almost unheard of.

My brave,brave strong beautiful wife demanded she be born with Grace and Dignity which is how we chose her name. Siobhan delivered her with such strength and fire and determination. Due to complications with placenta she then fought for another 4 hours before she could rest. I have never been more in awe of and in love with my wife.

The midwives and doctors at Queen Elizabeth Hospital have our eternal gratitude for the way in which they supported us. They enabled is to have the birth we wanted despite the circumstances. Our friends and family have been so invaluable. Special thanks to Our Doula Mars Lord , my brother Peter Hewit , Christiane Edel and Christof, Hople Thane and Mandla, Omi ( Helen Mountain) and Pops, and we want to give so much love to our aupair Laure Vlt who didn't sign up for this but has been wonderful.

Alannah has met her little sister and is being typically toddler like keeping us focused in the present in a life affirming way.

We are broken right now and trying to cling to the wise words of Father Christian from Siobhan's church that in our grief we should not give up on the joy of life. They can co-exist but if our sorrow negates our joy then that does not honour the memory of our little girl.

For the entirety of Grace's short life she made her presence known in no uncertain terms, she was so vital and we miss what she was going to be.

We would like you to do us 2 favours today.
First hug someone you love today especially if you have children.
Secondly take a moment to listen to this song. It is what I sang to my daughter as I held her newly born body in my arms and begged her to breathe for me or open her eyes hoping it was all some kind of dream.

We miss our daughter, our Grace, our beautiful dreamer

David and Siobhan

Four Things I celebrated in Jamaica

I just returned from Jamaica with my family after having a wonderful, chilled time.

I have celebrated the following things.



1) I renewed my Jamaican citizenship and passport. I am now have dual citizenship again.








2) 2 years since my father died. We paid respects by laying a headstone on his grave. The funniest/weirdest thing that happened that day was Alannah getting out of the car and going straight to my fathers grave and sitting on it.

3) 3 Years of marriage.  We celebrated this with my mother and my niece at a place called Jack Spratts on Treasure Beach on the South Coast.  Jack Spratts is on a beautiful bit of coast, has a sumptuous menu (you can tell its good by the amount of locals that eat there. I had Escovitched red Snapper and Siobhan had a Fully Loaded pizza - which included jerk sausgae.  The food was good, the price was good and the day was lovely


Our last day was spent at YS Falls, which in my opinion is one of the most wonderful places in Jamaica, you must check it out - YS Falls

Many thanks to my Mother, my neice Sandy, my cousin Emprezz and her husband Steven and son Kush, to Reecy McDonald and to Almeida Hewitt and Talmadge Kearns for making this such a good time.

4) And finally I celebrated 15 years of Dreadlocks... by getting rid of them.  Here is the story of their last few minutes.  I will be doing a further post later detailing why it was necessary to get rid of them.

 

Breakfastboo

listen to ‘Breakfastboo’ on Audioboo

The winters tale in Poland - time to meet the cast.

So here we are back in Gdansk. This is now my 3rd summer in Gdansk in 4 years and It is so strange to come to a foreign city that feels so familiar. Strange but wonderful. My favourite moment has to be walking into the town centre and hearing a high pitched voice call my name and suddenly being hugged by a 9 year old boy that remembered me from 2 years ago. Warmed my heart.

 

Anyway we got of the plane and headed straight into a 5 hour rehearsal in which

Ostrava round up, the fear, costume woes, keeping it real and a theft

Unfortunately the blog suffered from an increase in workload and a decrease in time available. However as I wrote this I am on my way to Poland to do part 2. Part 2 is essentially the same play with a brand new community cast.

 

Anyway here's a brief summary of what happened in Ostrava.

5th July
The fear has set in. This is the point where you realise how much time you don't have left to finish learning lines. The fear can be crippling and debilitating. It can rob the actor of confidence and paralyse them, thus preventing them solving their own problem. I don't know what the answer to the fear is but my wife told me to remind myself that I'm a genius that can do anything. Wether it's true or not, isn't relevant but if it helps me past this rut then all is good.

6th July
I've started to cry in my performance now.

There is a scene in which the king learns that his son, his wife and probably his daughter are all dead. It becomes too much and I break down crying. I love being able to cry on stage and I am often asked how to do this. I'm going to save this subject for another blog though, so stay tuned.

7th July
It's preview night tonight and there will be a small audience including some press. Nerves are running high and I realise that for the first time in a long time, I'm really nervous, not a little nervous but a lot. I don't know why.
The preview wasn't bad but there is definitely some more line work to be done. I am also unhappy about my costume. Partly because of my own insecurities regarding my self image and partly because I don't think it really works for a king.


8th July

Had a discussion with Philip and Lucy (costume lady) about my costume, we watched a compromise which I absolutely love. This is also a reminder of how much every production is a collaboration which when handled right can yield beautiful results.

First show, first time with a big audience and a successful one. I say successful but although good it has highlighted a lot of work which we all need to do before tomorrow.

 

 

9th July

Tonight was a good performance although I personally feel that I found it a little difficult to focus. This however is fairly typical for 2nd nights. Probably because the buzz and elation of the first nights still lingering and one is never sure how to replicate it - and therein lies the problem. Never try to replicate a performance each one is different, each one has a unique audience that will respond differently and therefore inform your performance uniquely. Every night you are in a different mind space than you were the night before and so are your fellow actors. As every day is varied so is every performance. Acknowledging this is how you keep a performance fresh and interesting. Never try to do anything else but take each show as it comes.

 

10th July
A truly triumphant final performance in which everyone gave it everything they got. This is a wonderful note to leave the Czech Republic on. We have An after party in a bar called Sherlocks and this becomes a bitter sweet time. Many friends have been made here and the flavour of this country is one I have enjoyed and intend to return to. There is much drinking, dancing, laughing and crying. However at the end of the night I notice that my bag has gone missing, complete with iPad, a red bikini!!! And my passport.

11th July

Crime report filed.
20m to catch the train to Prague
We dash home
I pack in 5m
I run for the train while Philip grabs me a coffee.
Phillip hands me the coffee as the train moves off.
4 hours later I am navigating Prague in order to find the British consul.
2 and a half hours later with the aid of the lovely Mariška I have passport pictures, a new boarding card and a very pretty emergency passport, valid for one trip that has cost me £96. Considering that a 10 year passport will cost £110 I am bit miffed.
Anyway a 3 hour trip to Brno and I arrive half an hour before the rest of the party and we travel back to England together.

All in all this has been an amazing production woth abtragi first half, a cmic interlude and a happy ending. The audience were fed in the middle and danced both at the begin as they took part in Queen Hermiones masked ball and later at the festival in Bohemia. The audience stayed with us theough a 4 hour promenade spectacle and loved every minute. This was a triumph of theatre and There are pictures and videos all over Facebook at the moment and in the fullness of time I will post some of the choice ones. But here's one of the rehearsals for you.

 

 

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