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Friday, 16 May 2014

Today I will bury my daughter so do me a favour

My inspiring wife carried our daughter Grace for 9 months and upon her death still had to deliver her into this world with sweat and pain. In a vague attempt to bring some symmetry to our experience I with the help of my brother dug her grave yesterday.
Although I can in no way approximate my wife's experience I needed to sweat, I needed to ache. And in the same way, while I can never come near to the experience of carrying and nurturing my child in the same way as Siobhan did, I will carry her on my own down the aisle today in her white willow basket.
I have 2 favours to ask of you.

1) Find a moment of joy or peace or happiness or fun or madness or something positive today or at some point in the next week and post a picture of it on facebook or twitter or your blog or everywhere. Use the hashtag #amomentforgrace. That would be a wonderful tribute to Grace and our choice not to give up on the joy of living in the midst of grief. This is one such moment from our week in which as a family we planted a rose that a dear friend had gifted to us. It's called a Grace rose and it was a lovely time.






Here's another moment at Yo Sushi where I took a photo of Alannah and she took a photo of me. Admire her camera work! These moments are so precious. Share yours with us.
2) Consider giving to one of the following charities, the first of which has been of immeasurable help to us and the 2nd of which Siobhan is donating her breast milk to which would otherwise have gone to waste.
Sands, the stillbirth and neonatal death charitySands supports anyone affected by the death of a baby, works in partnership with health professionals to try to ensure that bereaved parents and families receive the best possible care and funds research that could help to reduce the numbers of babies dying and families devastated by this tragedy.You can donate here - http://www.justgiving.com/GraceDinahMonteith
or
UKAMB logoUnited Kingdom Association for Milk Banking - Donated breastmilk helps to save the lives of premature and sick babies whose mothers are unable, for many reasons, to provide them with sufficient breastmilk of their own. You can donate here - https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/gracedinahmonteith
Many thanks
David & Siobhan

7 comments:

Lorraine said...

So sorry for your loss David and Siobhan. What a beautiful tribute to your girl and to the universe your #momentofgrace idea is. Thank you for sharing your story and for thinking of this way we can all do something tiny that will show we care and we are sorry and to remind us we all must treasure every moment of grace we are gifted with in this world. With love and much respect to you both and wishing you happiness in the future even though little Grace is gone. I know from experience, This is the way forward from deep pain and grief.

allyson devenish said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. I recognise this overwhelming event, having experienced ther very same 15 years ago. My daughter, Isobel, died during labour and then was born. I have since had three wonderful, amazing sons, whose very presence has kept the hole in my heart from expanding.

The strength that you and Siobhan have garnished is inspiring. The eloquence and truth with which you write of your grief - thank you. One day at a time.

Sylvie Montgomery said...

Such an inspiring, beautiful farewell, filled with light on the sunniest day of the year. A wonderful tribute of hope for the future.
Pretty Amazing Grace.

Cassie Colquhoun said...

So sorry for your loss my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. Gone but never forgotten Angel Grace xx

Jimmy Aquino said...

I'm not sure what it is I will do for my "amomentforgrace" but rest assured it will be full of joy, happiness, madness, positivity, fun, peace, love and more! Love you guys beyond belief.

Tonia said...

So very sorry for the loss of Grace from your world. Your idea is beautiful, and one I will be proud to be a part of.

Vicky Clark said...

I know how painful it is to loose a child and how much courage it takes to keep your eyes on the beauty of the world whilst still being true to your grief. My heart goes out to you both...and your little ones. I'll take a moment for Grace this week full of joy and gratitude for all this world offers us...even in the painful moments xxx